Oh, Heidi

I am not sure how many of you know that my long running "guilty pleasure" is watching Project Runway, along with Project Runway All Stars. (You know it's bad when you have dreamed you've been on the show. . . . ummmmm, at least different three times- and I don't even sew!)

 For years (yes, YEARS) I have watched faithfully as Heidi and Tim present the challenges and then Nina, Michael and Heidi critique what these fashion hopefuls have extended all their creative juices to make.  I know seems like an odd match for a girl who won't even where a sleeveless shirt to the gym and can't remember the last time she cussed to so fully enjoy a show that is laced with profanity and modesty is a nonissue--(and don't worry they bleep the swearing out.)

I guess it draws me in because I can't help but wonder how I would be able to handle myself if I were in their shoes. (Hence, the premise of many of the dreams) I am impressed by their amazing sewing skills and also the innovative designs that many of them come up with.  Plus, it really is someone following their dream.

I think that Heidi Klum is pretty awesome too. Mother of 4- who sounds like she simply adores her kids whenever she is asked about them. She has become a business women with many clothing lines ranging from maternity, to women's daily wear and now to kids.

 But I think the thing that I like the most about her is the mix of her firm, no nonsense stance, with her friendly and up beat personality. It is kind of how I'd like to be as a teacher. I like to be nice and approachable, but at the same time my students know they can't mess around with the rules in my class. (And no, I have never met her. I realize I only see what she is like on TV.)

Heidi seemed to have it all going for her, but then she and her hubby, Seal, surprised us by announcing they were splitting last year.

WHAT?!?! I was shocked. They always looked so happy in pictures and had such a cute little family. What happened?

They both kept their reasons and details of it very private, but at one point Seal said some disparaging remarks about Heidi. Her response was very appropriate and she said something like, "It makes me sad that my children's father would spread untrue rumors about their mother." Seal ended up "clarify" his statement- which means he really took it back.

Months after they had split, Heidi was in an interview with Katie Couric. Katie pressed her for information and asked "So what really happened? Why did you split?" Heidi answered in a very classy fashion and explained that even though she is in the public eye very often that she still "likes to keep some things close to her heart". As far as I know she has never dished on what went wrong. I really respect her for it.

So that brings me to my split and the ending of my marriage.

I am going to take the same approach as Heidi and keep things fairly private.

Through it all I have remained rather silent because I would have rather have kept it close to my heart. I created this post because I want to acknowledge the changes that are happening in my life.

These past few years have been filled with huge life lessons. It has been a lot to deal with in such a short time.  But with these experiences has come wisdom that I couldn't have gain otherwise.

I am happily moving forward.

Changes

I have adored reading my sisters newly established blog.
 She has inspired me to revisit this old past time.

 It would be too overwhelming to describe the journey I have been on since I last wrote; that will have to come another day, but here is a quick snap shot.



Most if you know about this:

http://www.abc4.com/content/news/top_stories/story/Mother-gives-birth-while-standing-Grandma-makes/Pb1ZAMxRPU6_Focp3yGIDw.cspx#.T7w4NyExnu4.blogger

I still can't believe Lilly came in the whirlwind she did.

 All of the chaos going on before Lilly came was not included in the news story.

Very unexpectedly, my water broke and then all heck broke loose with it.

•  We were getting Gabriel ready to be pick up by either my cousin or my aunt- they were on the phone with both a different times.
•  They were on the phone with the midwives as well updating them of our status.
• I got into the shower with my clothes on because the contractions had really gotten intense.
• The smoke alarm started blaring because it picked up the steam from my shower.
• My mom was running around gathering the last few things to take with us.
•  In the end, Gabe just got packed into the car to come with us only to have the baby crown while I was on the way out to the car.

And, of course Lilly, was given the middle name Elizabeth because my mother caught her.

 

Lilly has grown, but not much. She still is a small little Lillybug. But she is a mover. She was actively rolling front to back and across a floor at 4 months. She was crawling by 6 months. Now she is 7 months and loves to crawl to a toy taller then her and pull herself to standing. (I think she is just trying to gain the skills to run away from her ever in charge brother.)



I am pretty sure she pulled on the cord to get herself standing under that desk.

Gabriel Loved meeting Santa.

Is this really my life?

I started this post May 26, 2012. What you see is exactly what was saved on that day. Life got too busy (and crazy) to finish, but here is it anyway. 

It has almost been a week since my first little girl was born. I feel like things have finally settled down enough that I can soak it all in. My guess is that most of you reading this post are already familiar with my crazy birth story (which I will share my perspective on later), but few know how truly blessed I feel and how I am in awe as I ponder how things have turned out. 

My Mother's Presence: Even though this is my third birth this is the first that my mother has been present for. Her plan was to drive from Seattle to Provo when we thought that baby was close to coming. We really wanted her there and this had me a little nervous because it was such a long drive I didn't want to call her too late and have her miss the birth or call her too soon and have her waiting around for a week till the baby came. 

With my natural birthing programs (Hypobabies) it suggests that you visualize the perfect birth situation- the people there, the time of day, holding your baby for the first time, etc. The problem was I couldn't figure out what would be "perfect." Should I think of it going fast and my mom getting there just in time? Should I think about contractions starting during the night so that way I just wake up my Mom and Geoff in the morning and we have the baby then? 

I came to the conclusion that I didn't know what the perfect birth was supposed to be with this one. I decided that I would put my trust in God. In my prayers I told my Heavenly Father that I knew that He knew what the perfect birth would be, and I asked him to create that for me and to help me trust that it would all happen that way it was supposed to. 

So here is how it all happened. 

A little background with Garrett's birth my first contract was Sunday morning about 9am. They came at a regular increasing rate till my water broke at 3:30am and he was born (2 hours later) at 5:30am Monday morning. 

For Gabriel's birth I felt the first contractions at 9pm on Saturday night. They came at a good pace through the night, then died off Sunday afternoon. Then contractions started up again Sunday night at which point we went to the birth center. I was only dilated to a four and stopped progressing so they sent me home, then they came back Monday afternoon. My water broke at 4:30pm and he was born (2 hours later) at 6:30pm.

Now with Lilly, I started to feel contractions Saturday night about 10pm. I called my mom and told her be ready to drive in tomorrow morning. I felt them again on Sunday and really strong Sunday night.

 

Monday morning- No Contractions! Well, maybe one or two here and there, but I was very baffled and little frustrated. Here I had sounded the alarm with my Mom but now there were no signals that the baby was planning on coming anytime soon. I even told my mom that I felt guilty that things weren't progressing like they should since I alerted everyone. But she assured me that we knew the baby was coming soon and that I could just relax and trust the pace it would come. 




He LOVES his baby.